Who We Are

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Becca Bernstein (they/them)

I could share my full resume and give you my entire professional background, but I’ve been craving more realness about why - truly why - we do what we do. We’re so much more than our professional accolades, than conferences and graduate school and all of the things that traditionally signal to other people that we’re capable, qualified human beings.

Here is a small sample of personal and professional experiences, all of which contribute to why I do this work:

  • We need more spaces that directly name and combat loneliness - and focus on vulnerability. In the last several years, I’ve known multiple incredible people who have taken their own lives or been on the precipice of doing so. These people were fierce. Talented. Compassionate. Visionary. Their vitality and life-force made this planet better. But in each case, they found themselves unable to sustain true vulnerability with others. To not be known, to not be seen and loved for both the glorious parts of us, along with the parts of us that struggle, is one of the loneliest feelings on this planet. We need more spaces that name - and directly combat - this loneliness together.

  • The risk of not trying new and different ways of caring for each other is too great. With mounting caseloads during a global pandemic, there’s been an enormous burden placed on individual therapists to provide mental health care and support for a population that’s collectively traumatized, where nearly no one has been spared. As Kumar Kar (2020) explains: “People have a common notion that mental health professionals have very strong mental abilities to deal with challenges, so they can’t experience stress, fear, anxiety and depression… But the fact is mental health professionals are also human beings and are not immune to psychiatric illnesses, frustrations, stress, guilt, fear, anxiety and depression.”

    There are brilliant people - like Tim Desmond at Peer Collective - working tirelessly to figure out how to make individual counseling more accessible and affordable. At the same time, I’m acutely aware that we need more people to step up and continue exploring how we can better share the load - of showing up for each other; of knowing that each of us plays a part in keeping each other well - and that right now, that responsibility falls on the shoulders of too few people. They - and we - cannot do this alone.

  • Yes, I also have significant professional experience in this growing body of work. I spent more than 3.5 years as the National Community Director of The Dinner Party, an organization that provides peer care for people who are grieving the losses of parents, siblings, partners, children, friends. I’ve developed forms of peer care groups for trans* and gender non-conforming college students and worked closely with survivors of sexual violence. I’ve been the keynote speaker at conferences for nearly 800 school-based counselors, focused on reducing burn-out and developing systems to pause, connect, and care for one another.

    “What are you seeking connection around most?” and “How can we be part of each other’s healing in an authentic, vulnerable, human way?” have been guiding questions throughout my work.

Key Professional Experiences

  • National Community Director, The Dinner Party (grief peer care), 2017-2021

  • Named to GO Magazine’s National Class of 2020 “100 Women We Love”

  • Lead trainer and facilitator, Camp TDP (three-day peer care retreat space for grievers in their 20s, 30s, early 40s), 2019

  • Keynote speaker on burn-out and methods of collective care, Minnesota School Counseling Conference, 2019

  • Lead facilitator, Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Group, Swarthmore College, 2015-2017

  • Organizer and co-facilitator of healing spaces for survivors of sexual violence, Swarthmore College, 2015-2017

  • Trainer on social justice, leadership, and reflection via Office of Leadership and Community Service-Learning, University of Maryland, 2013-2015

  • Trainer for national service members, librarians, healthcare professionals, college students and faculty, and other civic groups wanting to think and talk about their core values, beliefs, and the “why” behind what they do, Center for Civic Reflection, 2011-2013

  • M.Ed. from The University of Maryland College-Park, including work in Counseling Center and significant coursework in counseling

  • Public Allies Chicago Class of 2012 - member of leadership cohort focused on race, equity, relationship-building across difference, and community-based work

Teachers, Co-Conspirators, and Inspirations

This work has not been developed in a vacuum, and has - and continues to be - deeply inspired by teachers, leaders, and guides, near and far. They include but are not limited to: